I did something recently that I’ve never done before: I pitched myself to a company that I’ve admired in hopes of collaborating on a sponsored blog post.
Now, I’m not a huge blogger by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t have hundreds of thousands of followers and in the grand scheme of things, I probably have more to gain than this company would by taking a chance on working with me. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my professional years, starting all the way back with getting my internships, is this:
you never get anything you don’t ask for.
Now, I could easily have told myself, “This company will never work with you, Casey. You’re not famous. So, get over yourself.”
But mama don’t play like that.
You see, I’d much rather know for sure and hear the word “no” directly from the other person/company than assume the answer is no. Even if a “yes” seems like a long shot.
I was recently interviewed on a podcast and was asked if I thought I was brave. I said I was scared all the time.
But being scared means you are doing something right. Being scared is your fire. Fear should drive you to be better. If you were confident in yourself 100% of the time, what would drive you to pay attention to detail? How would you be challenged?
If the word “no” stopped me, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. As someone who works in an over saturated industry, I know rejection well. I get turned down more often than an air conditioner in July. You can’t get anywhere if you are afraid of the word, “no.” And trust me, whenever I hear the word, “yes,” I’m shocked. I have imposter syndrome, after all.
I get a lot of my shear will to work from my mother. Even now that’s she’s semi-retired, she still works part time and freelances on occasion. She worked her ass off in a time when most of my friends' moms stayed at home. When I was growing up, sometimes not having her around really bummed me out. I'd go over a friend's house after school and their mom would be snack-ready, while my mom tended to work later and travel a lot, sometimes for weeks at a time. The woman missed the blizzard of ‘95, when I was 9 and tried to shovel the driveway with my dad, only to get stuck once I descended the stairs to the driveway because the snow was so deep.
However, growing up with her working so hard taught me to be independent (I became an expert at making my own after-school snacks) and as I grew older I realized she really didn't necessarily want to be away from home so much. It's hard to understand that as a kid, but I get it now.
Anyway, the point of me talking about momma is she’s a big reason I don’t fear the word "no." When I was scared to go after a goal, she always said, “the worst thing they can say is no.”
And a “no” certainly wouldn’t kill me.
When I graduated college and started getting rejected again and again from job interviews, this was the one thing that resonated with me, and gave me the will to keep going. I only needed one "yes" to get to the next phase. At some point I logically knew I’d hear the word “yes.” And so that meant every “no” brought me closer to getting a “yes.” And usually, hearing a “no” only meant there was another job better fit for me out there.
Look, getting rejected SUCKS. It’s not like I like it any more when it happens to me. I always will end up having a moment of self doubt when rejection rears it’s ugly head and I feel like I’m not good enough and it would be easier to just crawl in a hole and raise the white flag of surrender.
It’s nice, after all, in your comfort zone. There is a warm fire, and there are cookies there. And reruns of New Girl.
But if you stay comfortable, your life and career won’t progress. And that’s fine, cookies are great and make people happy. But if you really want something, you should at least keep trying to go after it.
And even if this company that I reached out to says no, I’ll keep putting myself out there.
Because the word "no" can't kill you. It isn't a death sentence. It certainly might feel that way, it might make you angry, or sad. But it won’t kill you. But you can never get told yes if you don’t at least put yourself out there in the first place.
And you really only need one yes.