A letter to my unborn son

Hi. It’s me, your mom. This is a little weird, I know. Even though we haven’t formally met yet, we have spent every minute together for the past 27 weeks.

Sometimes I have to remind myself you’re there. Sometimes you remind me that you’re there. You sleep when I move and you move when I (try to) sleep.

You have already done so much cool stuff I didn’t get to do until I was way older. You’ve been to really cool concerts (like Beyoncé and Jay Z and Elton John and Weezer and the Pixies). I felt you dance during Rocket Man and I wondered if you really could hear what was going on.

You’ve voted with me twice. And I hope you come with me to vote again and I can teach you the importance of standing up for what you believe in.

You have already been on a plane 12 times! You’ve been to both coasts, and have seen both oceans. You’ve been to Europe. You have attended more weddings in these 6 months than I’ve been invited to as a guest in my whole life. How many fetuses can say that?

Your favorite food is everything, especially things I can dip into a sauce. Eggrolls with duck sauce, french fries with ranch, carrots with peanut butter. I wonder if you’ll like these things outside of my belly as much as you do inside of my belly. I wonder if you’ll be as good of an eater as you’re making me.

You give me the most vivid and strange dreams. Sometimes I wake up wondering if what I dreamt was real or my imagination. I could never remember my dreams before you came along.

My sense of smell these days is so acute that I wonder if I can use the super power for fighting crime. In fact, that’s the moment I knew you were growing in there. We were shooting a wedding, and I got an overwhelming whiff of limes. I thought someone had spilled lime juice next to me until I saw someone, two tables away, squeezing a single lime wedge into their drink.

I took a test the next day and then I knew for sure. You were there.

Your dad and I spent a long time together wondering when we should bring you into the world. We always knew we wanted you, but we didn’t know if we were prepared. We wanted to be sure you’d be taken care of. And then one day your dad told me he was ready. And suddenly I felt ready.

You must’ve been ready then, too. Because about a week later, you started growing in my belly.

You have made me sober and tired and irritable. I have given up things I’ve loved most in my life like beer and sushi and coffee. I didn’t even eat any cheese in Amsterdam. Do you know how hard it is to say no to cheese in a town that makes cheese? You don’t, but one day you will.

I hope you know, I gave up those things because I love you. And I want you to know that I will do so much more than just that. I will spend the rest of my life doing what I think is best for you.

And you probably will sometimes be mad at me and think that I’m annoying or that I don’t have your best interests in mind, but I promise you, I am going to try my best.

I have loved every second of knowing you already, buddy. Making you has been the coolest art project I’ve ever done.

I can’t wait to meet you. I feel like I already have.

Love,

Mama

PS Thanks for never making me puke. You did me a real solid there, dude.

Photo of my dear friend EFW Florals and her son, Link

my kinda spooky hobby

This animation was created by my talented husband Anthony Maiuri, inspired by my hobby

So what does one do when their hobby is their job? They find another hobby, duh!

For me, I like to relax by doing things that exercise my mind but are also a little mindless. In other words, I like challenging myself to learn new things (like knitting, needlepoint, quilting) in addition to things I’ve always liked to do (like reading, listening to podcasts, watching The Office, snuggling with my dogs…).

Over the past year, one particularly abstract (and maybe controversial?) practice has captivated my attention and free time:

Reading Tarot cards.

OK, I know. Many of you are rolling your eyes. Or, maybe you think this is cool. Maybe you think it’s weird. A few might think I’m practicing witchcraft and worshipping Satan.

I can assure you, Tarot is definitely cooler than you think, weird for SURE, and far from Satan worship. At least, for me it is.

It’s honestly taken me a while to be brave enough to share this publicly through my business pages in fear that I might get judgement or lose clients over this. But in the spirit of the Halloween season, I wanted to share a little about this hobby and what I’ve learned by reading tarot for myself and friends.

A short history of Tarot:

The tarot deck is similar to a regular deck of cards: it has 4 suits that each go from Ace to King (which is called the “minor Arcana”). In addition to these 52 cards, a traditional 78 card tarot deck also has a “major Arcana” of people/scenes (these are the most famous and easily recognizable tarot cards, like The Devil, Death, and The Empress). Tarot cards started out in the 14th century as normal playing cards in Europe, then later started becoming used in divination and prophecy in the 18th century France. These cards are still used throughout Europe as normal playing cards.

Tarot ≠ witchcraft

I promise I’m not casting spells or stabbing needles into voodoo dolls. I’m literally shuffling a deck of cards and seeing what randomly comes up. It’s no different than playing solitaire with a normal deck of cards: endless possibilities, and sometimes you get a good hand and sometimes you get a really shitty one.

Tarot cards are not magic

This is a common misconception, and one that is perpetuated by tarot readers. Sure, there might be a “magical” aspect to them, but at the core of it let’s be honest: the tarot deck are pieces of paper printed in a factory and mass produced and sold. The aren’t farted out by a unicorn or woven by an elf in a castle (although, if anyone finds a deck like that let me know).

No, I don’t see dead people

I’m not a medium nor a necromancer, and I will never claim to be one. Seriously, the woo woo notion that tarot cards converse with spirits is maybe a belief for some people, but for me, the cards are merely a metaphor for what’s going on in your life, right now. I personally don’t believe that any divine spirits are speaking through me when I do readings. And honestly, most of the time I’m just trying to learn what the cards say and how to interpret them for the person I’m reading for. Ghosts are too into themselves, anyway.

No, I’m not practicing demonic worship

This is a very common misconception about tarot cards, especially if your only experience with tarot is from pop culture, or you are religious. I don’t use Ouija boards, I haven’t sold my soul to the devil, I’m not conjuring demons, and I definitely am not worshipping Satan. After you get a reading and I start to talk through what the cards say, you’d be surprised that they really aren’t in any way related to the occult aside from being systematically associated with it from movies and television.

There is no right or wrong way to read Tarot cards

This is probably the one thing that’s kept me so intrigued by this hobby. It’s a challenge. Everyone interprets the meaning of the cards differently. Even the actual guide books that come with decks and are sold in bookstores vary in interpretation. There are so many different decks, numerous ways to interpret the cards and infinite ways to read them. There really is no right or wrong way to read tarot, as much as you learn the symbolism contained in each card. It really depends on who is reading the cards and who is asking the questions. I tend to always try and see the positive outcomes or the best advice for what is placed in front of me.

Tarot cards won’t predict death

This might be the biggest misconception and fear most people have about getting a tarot reading (I know it was mine before I learned more!). A lot of people are afraid to get their tarot read because they think it will predict a slow and painful death. In fact, the actual Death card doesn’t predict death at all. None of the cards do. Tarot is way more metaphorical than set in stone predictions. For example, if the Death card is drawn, it means that there needs to be an ending of some sort so something new can be reborn. It might mean that a relationship needs to end, a project needs to be finished, or a contract needs to be closed in order for your life to progress to the next stage. And most of the time, the cards are mere suggestions. You still have free will and can change whatever the cards “predict” for you. From what I’ve learned so far, tarot cards are simply little makeshift psychologists, revealing situations you’re currently going through and giving you suggestions for how to handle it.

Reading tarot is a way I relax

There is something both exciting and comforting to me about shuffling a deck and interpreting a tarot spread. I’m always a little nervous before I flip the cards over. I always want it to reveal some sort of good news or solution to a problem. No matter what, my readings never disappoint and they are always eerily accurate. And it gives me a chance to zone out for 20-30 minutes and not worry about answering e-mails or pleasing anyone but myself. And, I find it a fun thing to do at parties and get togethers.

And isn’t that what hobbies are for anyway?

If you’re interested in learning to read tarot, I highly suggest getting the Rider Waite deck which is considered the “beginner” deck (and is pretty straightforward with the illustrations). The deck also comes with it’s own mini booklet for readings. But if you really want to delve into it and get a better understanding of spreads and reading the cards, this book is my go-to for readings. It gives cohesive breakdowns of different spreads in addition to a thorough description, interpretation, and symbolism behind each card.

There are so many more decks to explore as well, and I also own these beautiful tarot decks (I’ve become a collector— I can’t help myself!):

Clockwise from top left: Aquarian Tarot Deck, Antique Anatomy Tarot by Black and the Moon, Mermaid Tarot Deck

I also have started learning these alternative decks:

Seventh Sphere Lenormand Deck 

Oracle of Oddities by Black and the Moon

Thanks for reading, and even if you still think I’m weird, it’s ok because I embrace weirdness. Weirdness makes the world go ‘round.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

travel tips and hacks I have learned as a destination photographer

My last travel job of the year was a couple weeks ago. Up until then, for the past 14 months since I moved to Michigan, I was on a plane on an average of once a month traveling for weddings I had booked out of town.

I wish I could go back in time and share with past Casey what I’ve learned since I started traveling for work several years ago. So, I’m using this blog post to share the mistakes I made and the tips and tricks I’ve picked up along the way.

I think it’s easy for anyone to think that traveling for work is glamorous. Especially when I’ve been brought to so many fun places, including both coasts of the US (and a few states in between), Europe, and even Costa Rica.

But, honey, it ain’t all glitz and glam, I can tell ya that much.

There are so many myths that go along with traveling for work. The first thing to keep in mind is:

traveling for work ≠ vacation.

Let’s get one thing straight: traveling for a job is not a vacation. It has it’s expectations and stresses. You are planning a trip around someone else’s timeline and agenda, after all. You’re going somewhere you’ve maybe never wanted nor had any reason to go. You can’t stay wherever you want because you need to be close to where the job will be. You can’t be a tourist unless you plan to stay extra days (and spend extra time and money out of pocket) while you’re there. Not to mention, you are adding on extra days just to get yourself to the place you need to be. For me, this means a minimum of 4 days away per destination wedding. Add on the fact that I need to carry all my equipment — my livelihood — with me. And I have the added pressure that I can’t forget anything— because that can mean disaster. Not everywhere has the stores you need, and Amazon Prime is usually not quick enough (or available as an option at all) if I forget, say, my camera batteries.

get to the airport early

Traveling didn’t used to be as much of a hassle as it is today. I swear that just within the past couple years the lines have gotten longer and security has become stricter. Now, no matter if I have to check a bag or not, I arrive at the airport no less than 2 hours before my scheduled boarding time. I’ll try to arrive even earlier if I’m checking luggage, have rented a car, or if I’m going through an extra busy airport like Atlanta or LAX. I’d always rather have the extra time once I get through security to walk around, grab something to eat and drink, and find my gate.

if you travel a lot, Splurge for TSA Pre Check

Then, treat yo’self with all the time you’ve saved.

This was maybe the best investment I made when I started traveling for work more. Did you know that now any electronic that’s bigger than your phone needs to be removed from your bag when you go through a normal security line? That’s in addition to any liquids, belts, shoes and miscellaneous things in your pockets. For me, this means I’d have to remove everything from my camera bag, which would add so much more time before and after passing through security, thus pissing off the already stressed travelers waiting behind me.

If you have TSA Pre Check, you can bypass the long security line and forego removing all electronics from your bags. You also don’t have to take off your shoes and you can walk through a regular metal detector instead of being scanned in the X-Ray. It cost me a little over $80 for 5 years of this luxury, and it only took about 20 minutes of my time to apply and get an interview/background check to qualify. Now any time I need to fly for work, I have added peace of mind that security will be a breeze.

Plan for delays

If you are contractually obligated to be somewhere on a specific day, especially if that day can’t be rescheduled (like, say, a wedding day), you must account for delays. At this point I just expect them to happen. So I always plan to land 2 days before the contracted event date. If the wedding is on a Saturday, I land by Thursday afternoon. This technique has literally saved my reputation and reliability for my destination weddings, as some delays have made me 12+ hours later to my destination than I originally planned to be. And I always like to bring a deck of cards or some sort of game in my carry on to pass the time in case my flight is cancelled and I’m stranded in an airport overnight.

Pack a change of clothes (and underwear) in your carry on

Although sometimes they appear the same from the outside.

Otherwise, you could end up like me if the airline loses your luggage: stuck in a remote location where no one speaks English (and nary a Rite Aid in sight), washing your panties in a hotel sink and trying to air dry them out the car window each day. Yep, that happened when I went to Costa Rica. My luggage went to Honduras instead of arriving with me, and I had to travel 4 hours away from the airport to shoot a wedding the next day. The only clothes I had were what I wore on the plane, and let me tell you: jeans and a long sleeve button-up isn’t the most ideal outfit to wear while shooting a wedding in muggy, 90-degree weather. I was stranded in a remote part of Costa Rica, and the only option I had to buy a change of clothing was a little beach bodega near our hotel. I was able to get essentials: sunscreen, toothpaste, and a passably decent change of clothes to wear to a wedding (ok, it was plastic flip flops and a beach dress, but beggars can’t be choosey). But it brought up unexpected expenses that the airline wouldn’t refund, because the luggage hadn’t technically been lost… it was just “misplaced."

My luggage wasn’t delivered to me until the last day of our trip.

So now, if I absolutely have to check my luggage, I always bring at least one change of clothes in my carry on (ideally, an acceptable outfit to work in) and underwear.

Which reminds me, I should also mention:

Never pack anything of value in a checked bag unless you’re willing to risk never seeing it again.

Do I really need to explain why? Flight crews randomly search checked luggage, and items can be mishandled or even stolen. I remember one Christmas when we flew home, I thought I was being proactive by wrapping all my gifts and packing them in my suitcase. I checked the bag, and to my dismay when we arrived home, the contents had been rifled through and every gift had been ripped open. I’m not sure if this was a safety precaution or if someone just wanted to see what I was getting for my mom, but it was so upsetting. I was very lucky that no gifts were stolen or damaged, and you can bet if I’m ever in the same situation, I’ll plan to either carry the gifts on or ship them to my destination.

Assume you’ll never have an outlet

If you rely on your phone to get you around (which I’m assuming most of us do) buy an external battery pack for your phone. I have this one and it is awesome. It charges not only my phone but any device that has a USB attachment, like my Kindle. And it’s literally saved me when a plane doesn’t have a charging port available at the seat, or I’m in the middle of nowhere shooting and I need directions.

Pack lightly

For weekend getaways, there’s no reason you really need to check anything under the plane. This isn’t always possible, especially if you’re like me and travel with equipment you can’t check. But, I like to take on the challenge no matter what.

I’ve become the queen of light packing. I especially love these compression packing cubes that I can fit up to a week’s worth of clothes in, and when zipped it fits comfortably (with room to spare!) into a backpack. I seriously use them every time I travel, and I feel like I’ve beat the system.

Other ways to lighten the load: Prioritize first what you absolutely cannot live without. Consider what you can buy there (like a disposable razor or toothbrush). Bring clothes you can mix and match, so you have multiple days of outfit choices (do you really need four pairs of jeans for a week?). Find out what your hotel provides (like toiletries) which can save you some room in your bag. See if you can rent equipment in the destination city while you’re there, or ship items to your hotel in advance. And wear your heaviest clothing on the plane to keep your carry on as light as possible.

Upgrade to priority boarding

If you really want to guarantee that your carry on won’t be checked under the plane, upgrade your seat. It costs a little more for some peace of mind. For me, I never ever want to get my camera bag taken from me, or I’ll risk items being broken, stolen, or lost. And I can’t afford to have that happen when someone is relying on me to shoot their wedding in 48 hours. So, I’ve learned to avoid the headache altogether and pay for a guaranteed space overhead.

pack a lightweight, little luxury

I love my travel slippers. They are basically glorified socks, but they are practically weightless and can roll up small and fit in a coat pocket or purse. And for long stretches, they are essential to my comfort. Plus it’s better than removing your shoes and being the person who stinks up the cabin with their sweaty feet.

If you’re close enough to avoid flying, take a train!

I love trains. I made my way around Europe on trains and it was so relaxing, stressless, and simple compared to traveling by air. When you take into account the time spent at the airport and on the plane, sometimes it equals out to being the same amount of time or more time-efficient! I recomend this route if you’re going to a major city like New York or Chicago, where various public transportation options are easily accessible and you can avoid renting a car altogether.

My husband and I also like to pack a little cooler full of snacks and beer to enjoy while we watch the world go by outside.

I hope these insider tips help you the next time you need to travel! Is there anything else you like to do to make traveling a little easier? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

how do I get my wedding featured?

This topic comes up a lot, and I want to start this whole post off with this disclaimer, in bold for emphasis:

Getting your wedding featured on a blog or in a magazine does not mean your wedding is better than anyone else’s. If you don’t get your wedding featured in a blog or magazine (or if you try to submit for feature and get rejected), it does not mean your wedding was less special than anyone else’s wedding that was featured.

I’ve been featured several times. I used to also intern for publications and even held a job that focused on selling stories, and I worked on the blogging side of things where I was the one accepting submissions, so I know what editors are looking for, what works for publication and what gets eyes on a story.

Let me tell you a little secret about publications, blogs, magazines and newspapers: they are all about exclusivity and being the first to do anything. It’s all about traffic and clicks.

Let me tell you another little secret that might be a little blunt but it’s important to keep in mind: most weddings are the same. They follow the same repeated trends, colors, traditions, and incorporated details. It’s very very hard to make a wedding totally unique. It’s even harder to get your wedding featured somewhere.

There are no guarantees to what will and won’t be picked up for publication. But I can give you a few tips while planning that can help increase the odds of getting your wedding to go viral.

Stop looking at Pinterest.

The very first step to getting featured is to be unique. In the world of wedding features, it’s more about unique, personalized details rather than what you’ve seen be successful before. If it sounds cool or unique and you found it on Pinterest, more than likely editors have “been there seen that” and it’s thrown away as being cliche or trend. Think: donut walls, mason jars, candy stations, and repeat color palettes like blush and gold. Stop looking at Pinterest right now: all the weddings you see on Pinterest have already been featured, and thus if you take inspiration or recreate anything you see on Pinterest, it has less of a chance of being featured unless you take that idea and turn it into something 100% unique (like, make a donut sculpture that is displayed instead of an ice sculpture or a donut wall).

Wedding details matter more to editors than anything else.

The whole point of a wedding blog is to help couples plan their wedding. It’s not really about you. It’s about the work you did, what you added/included, and how you pulled it all off. So, it’s all fine and dandy that you bought the most expensive designer wedding dress you could find, but more than likely the thing that will get you featured are the unique, eye-catching centerpieces you chose, the way your venue looks, or the funny signage you put up pointing to the bathroom.

Most of the time (not always), money matters.

It’s very rare that a completely DIY budget wedding is featured on a wedding blog. I hate to say that; my wedding was a budget wedding and it was the most fun day of my life. And I still hear my guests tell me they had more fun at my wedding than any other wedding they’ve been to. I wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world. BUT it wasn’t a priority of mine to get my wedding published.

If you want to see your wedding on a blog, you will need to spend the money. Hire a planner that helps you bring your vision to life, preferably one who knows how a wedding should be designed in addition to how the day should flow. Be prepared to spend money on florals, rentals, and details that really WOW people. Whatever you think your budget is, the weddings you see featured on blogs could easily have cost twice that.

Now, another disclaimer: even if you spent upwards of $100k on a wedding, throwing money at a wedding alone will not make or break your chances at being published. So, take this word of advice with a grain of salt. It’s more important to be unique than to be expensive.

What you look like is almost as important as what the wedding looks like.

This part is a little politically correct and a hard truth: Editors take into account not only how a wedding looks, but how a couple looks. If you are a unique looking couple, that can be as much of an asset to getting your wedding featured as a unique venue or details. Very few blogs and publications want to feature perfect, model-like couples. They want their featured weddings to feel REAL, not staged. And that includes featuring what they consider real, all-inclusive couples of all shapes, colors, and sizes.

Include meaningful, personal touches.

If you love video games, have some video game references. If you’re big on bold colors, include them all. If your favorite hobby is riding bikes, ride down the aisle on a bicycle built for two.

Think outside the box when it comes to any and all aspects of your wedding. Choose vendors who have a portfolio that meshes with your personality. Hire a team that “gets” your vision.

Make it your own.

This is probably the best piece of advice i can give you. Everyone that’s involved in the wedding planning process is going to give you their opinion on something you plan to include. If they tell you they’ve never seen that done at a wedding, it’s probably a good sign to favor the odds of the wedding being featured somewhere. Be weird. Include inside jokes, homages to life events, and hints at your personality or story as a couple. There really are no wrong ways to do this, as long as you’re being true to yourself as a couple.

Hire the best photographer you can find.

Don’t roll your eyes; This is important. A cost-effective, inexperienced photographer can make an expensive wedding look cheap. Conversely, an experienced wedding photographer with a stellar portfolio can make even the most budget of weddings look expensive. I can’t emphasize the importance of this enough, and even though I’m a bit biased, it’s very relevant. If you want to be featured, hire someone who knows what they’re doing with a camera.

Submit somewhere that matches your style.

Another really important tip for getting published: If all the weddings on a blog you like features outdoor, earthy, bohemian weddings, it’s unlikely your traditional, classic hotel wedding will grace the pages. Stick to what is most likely to pick your wedding up. Find a blog that matches your style and has the same type of vibe you are going for. And it helps to know what wedding blogs are the most popular, and therefore least likely to feature you since there is more competition to getting accepted.

Like I mentioned above, none of these things guarantee a feature. I’ve shot so many weddings and only about 1% of them have been featured anywhere. It takes a lot of time and consideration to even submit a wedding somewhere, and every blog/magazine has their own requirements for how they want to receive submissions.

Which leads me to my final piece of advice:

Don’t give up

There are so many blogs on the internet, it’s likely you can find somewhere that will feature your wedding if you really want it to be published. Make a list of 10 blogs, ask your photographer for other suggestions, and keep at it. If you hear one no, move on to the next blog until you get a yes. When there is a will, there is usually a way.

5 things your photographer wants you to know (but may not ever say to you)

I’m not sure anyone really wants to know these things, but I think it’s always a good topic to keep in the back of your mind when you hire a professional photographer (or videographer).

We spend more time editing your photos (and/or video) than we do capturing them.

My husband and I working side by side. Photo by Georgine Brewer.

We’re used to instant gratification when it comes to photos and video. We’re used to taking a photo and it being there in front of us, and sharing it immediately. We’re used to watching live feeds of things happening right then at that moment. So of course it’s normal to think that if the photographer is shooting with a digital camera, all they have to do is upload the photos, right?

The thing that’s hardest to explain is that we shoot in RAW. RAW format doesn’t mean better, and it is far from being instant. Like, you wouldn’t want to eat a raw steak straight out of the package, right? Same for your photos and video. RAW simply means it’s in it’s most basic, maleable state. RAW photos need seasoning and some sort of preparation before you can serve it up. They need to be straightened, brightened, saturated, contrasted, color corrected, and retouched. Some photos require heavier manipulation like fixing blemishes or editing your Uncle Dennis’s cell phone out of the frame. I might spend 30 minutes editing one picture. On average, I spend about 30 hours editing a wedding from start to finish.

Add that in with multiple weddings or sessions a week, plus the need to do other things like sleep, and you have yourself several weeks before I can turn around a full gallery that is up to my standards. The wait is excruciating, but it’s worth it.

Which leads me to my next topic…

Don’t ever put filters over our photos.

There is nothing more disappointing than seeing my photo on someone else’s feed with an Instagram filter over it. If you don’t like a photo the way I delivered it, I’d much rather you come to me and ask me to retouch it again before slapping a filter over it yourself. Why is it such a big deal, you may ask? Because I’ve put actual work into making your photo the way it looks, and applying another filter on it is not only overkill, but a waste of my time and your money. Because how I delivered it will match up to my other work I present in my portfolio. Because putting a filter over a photo you didn’t take is the same to me as graffiti-ing over a painting in a museum.

Just don’t do it. It hurts my feelings. It makes me think you didn’t like the picture. And it really doesn’t look better than the way I gave it to you originally.

We wish all your guests’ cell phones were confiscated at the beginning of the day.

But seriously. It’s mostly just a temptation for them to get in the way.

We don’t really care if everyone else hates us, as long as you’re happy.

Here’s the truth: No one else who is attending your wedding has hired me to be there. And you know what that means? Your mom isn’t my boss. Your venue isn’t my boss. Your wedding planner isn’t my boss. The only person I answer to is the one who signed my contract. I’ll be kind to everyone until someone tries to tell me how to do my job, or gets in the way of me doing my job, or delays me doing my job. And if someone else is keeping you from getting everything you wanted from me being there, I will make no apologies in putting that person or persons in their place. Even if that means I have to shove them out of my way to get the shot.

The best tip you can give us is a good review.

You are never ever expected to tip. It’s rare that I get tipped after I work. It’s always appreciated, but never expected. You know one thing I like better than a tip? A positive review, or referral. A good review does more for my business than any amount of money you could leave me in an envelope. A good review means another potential client might decide to hire me over someone else because you said I did a good job.

And the best part about reviews? They cost you zero dollars to write.